“- Roman: You wanna cruise the lake in a pontoon boat? Or do you wanna ride the waves in a jet boat?
- Ben: Jet boat!! ... Sorrydad.”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig
Ian Giatti - Ben Ripley

“- Martin Brundle: You were there the night my father died; he was working on a cure.
- Stathis Borans: That's why you dragged yourself all the way out here? To find out about a cure?
- Martin Brundle: You're my only hope.”
Eric Stoltz - Martin Brundle
John Getz - Stathis Borans

“- Guard #2: She's dead.
- Hector Gomez: Hell, she isn't dead. This doctor shot her up with sodium pentothal to make this fellow think she was dead. So you wouldn't suck the blood outta her, you bastard.”

Joel Levine - Guard #2
Robert Beltran - Hector Gomez

“- Ronald Camp: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ace. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately.
- Ace Ventura: Be sure that you do! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed!”
Udo Kerr - Ronald Camp
Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura

“- Parole Officer: You better be there or you'll be having dinner with the sheriff.
[erupts into coughing fit]
- Parole Officer: You understand me, boy?
- Early Grayce: I understand you need to take care of that cough. Put a paper bag over your head and breathe deep. Works every time... peg-armed piece of shit.”
Judson Vaughn - Parole Officer
Brad Pitt - Early Grayce