“- Lisa: What sort of trouble are you in George?
- George: Ah, well ah... simply put... ah, I'm currently unemployed, my girlfriend recently broke up with me, ehm, I will soon run out of money and, er, I'm the target of a federal investigation.
- Lisa: Wow, you are a real chick magnet, aren't you.”
Reese Witherspoon - Lisa
Paul Rudd - George

“- Susan Vance: You've just had a bad day, that's all.
- David Huxley: That's a masterpiece of understatement.”
Katharine Hepburn - Susan Vance
Cary Grant - David Huxley

“How can all these things happen to just one person?”

“I thought a great place to meet girls would be where they teach English as a second language. These girls would be from foreign lands and a little disoriented and I would look attractive because I speak English. But in the end it did not work out as I had hoped: I was told to take a hike in fourteen languages.”
Steve Schirripa - Vinnie

“Everyone in the city is having sex at the exact same time except for us.”

John Cusack - Jake