“- Tony: God, that was so creepy!
- Mike: Wait, why are you smiling?
- Cynthia: I thought he was cute.
- Tony: Ugh, that's disgusting!
- Mike: You thought he was cute? Do you realize when he graduated we were like three years old?”

Anthony Rapp - Tony
Adam Goldberg - Mike
Marissa Ribisi - Cynthia

“- Nell: A virgin, bona fide.
- Brothel Patron: How old is she?
- Nell: Do you want to put me in jail? She's just old enough. She's the finest delicacy New Orleans has to offer, and it's her wish that one of you gentleman be the first.”

Frances Faye - Nell
Stocker Fontelieu - Brothel Patron

“- Quincy McCall: I took the hoe to Burger King.
- Monica Wright: Cheap date.”
Omar Epps - Quincy McCall
Sanaa Lathan - Monica Wright

“She wants a sensitive guy... more like the old me. Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, then I'm going to show her the biggest pussy she's ever seen.”
Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander

“Some feel that to court a woman in one's employ is nothing more than a serpentine effort to transform a lady into a whore.”
Hugh Jackman - Leopold