“- Student Journalist: As your party's leading presidential candidate, you are a staunch advocate of nuclear proliferation. Does wanting more and bigger missiles stem from a penisenvy of the Russians?
- Norman Mart: No, son. That's primitive thinking. I will add, though, that I'll put my slab on the yard stick against Gorby any day.”
Patrick O'Neill - Student Journalist
Clu Gulager - Norman Mart

“- Captain Winston Havelock: You know, O'Connell, ever since the end of the Great War, there hasn't been a-a single challenge worthy of a man like me.
- Rick O'Connell: Yeah? We all got our little problems today. Don't we, Winston?”
Bernard Fox - Captain Winston Havelock
Brendan Fraser - Rick O'Connell

“Well, boys, this is it. Nuclearcombat, toe to toe with the Rooskies.”
Slim Pickens - Maj. 'King' Kong

“Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday machine is lost if you keep it a secret! Why didn't you tell the world?”
Peter Sellers - Dr. Strangelove

“- Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?
- Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn't thought of that.
- Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.”
Maya Rudolph - Rita
Luke Wilson - Joe Bauers