“Rejection. That's what makes a college great. The exclusivity of any university is judged primarily by the amount of students it rejects.”
Anthony Heald - Dean Richard Van Horne

“- Randall - 'R': I want you to go to college. It's really important, okay?
- Randy Harris, Jr.: Did you?
- Randall - 'R': Yes.
- Randy Harris, Jr.: What did you learn?
- Randall - 'R': Give me a second, I'll think of it.”

Albert Brooks - Randall - 'R'
Desmond Harrington - Randy

“Let me get this straight. You both went to the same school. Yet someone came back with a degree that's useful, and the other one came back as Asian Ellen.”
Ken Jeong - Wye Mun Goh

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener

“- Shaun: I have to go to college.
- Cindy: Why?
- Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.”
Colin Hanks - Shaun Brumder
Catherine O'Hara - Cindy Beugler