“- Randall - 'R': I want you to go to college. It's really important, okay?
- Randy Harris, Jr.: Did you?
- Randall - 'R': Yes.
- Randy Harris, Jr.: What did you learn?
- Randall - 'R': Give me a second, I'll think of it.”

Albert Brooks - Randall - 'R'
Desmond Harrington - Randy

“Rejection. That's what makes a college great. The exclusivity of any university is judged primarily by the amount of students it rejects.”
Anthony Heald - Dean Richard Van Horne

“Let me get this straight. You both went to the same school. Yet someone came back with a degree that's useful, and the other one came back as Asian Ellen.”
Ken Jeong - Wye Mun Goh

- Silas P. Silas: Shit, I'll fucks witcha!
- Jamal King: Shit, I'll fucks witcha, too!
- Philip Huntley: And that's a good thing?
- Jamal King: Yes. That's a "yes"!
- Philip Huntley: Then we'll 'fox' with each other.

Method Man - Silas P. Silas
Redman - Jamal King
Fred Willard - Philip Huntley

“- Silas P. Silas: This class is fucking boring I'm out of here.
- Dean Carl Cain: Uh, excuse me did I hear you say something?
- Silas P. Silas: With all do respect sir, suck my dick.”
Method Man - Silas P. Silas
Obba Babatundé - Dean Carl Cain