“We don't even have money in our budget for coffee filters. We're using a yarmulke!”
Ellen Lee DeGeneres - Cynthia

“- Jay: Where would someone like grandma hide her money?
- Arty: You're not thinking of stealing it, are you?
- Jay: No, but what if we just borrowed it? I'd just love to send Pop an envelope with $9,000.
- Arty: Who would he think sent it to him... God?”
Brad Stoll - Jay
Mike Damus - Arty

“- Hank: A plan?
- Sarah: Yeah.
- Hank: Like the one to take the money back to the plane, and we end up killing Stephanson. Or maybe the one where we tape Lou and two more people end up dead. Is that the sort of plan you're thinking of? Well, I've got a plan! I'm taking the money back right now, all of it!”
Bill Paxton - Hank
Bridget Fonda - Sarah

“- Garbitsch: Brunettes are trouble makers. They're worse than the Jews.
- Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania: Then wipe them out.
- Garbitsch: Start small. Not so fast. We get rid of the Jews first, then concentrate on the brunettes.”
Henry Daniell - Garbitsch
Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania

“- Garbitsch: We've had to make a few arrests.
- Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania: A few? How many?
- Garbitsch: Nothing astronomical. Five or ten thousand... a day.”
Henry Daniell - Garbitsch
Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania