“- Jeff Dunham: Will you please tell these people I don't abuse drugs? - Peanut: Okaaay! [turns to the audience] Jeff does not abuse drugs. - Jeff Dunham: Thank you. - Peanut: He's an alcoholic.”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Peanut
If anyone had a clue how wrong it felt to be sober, they wouldn't dream of asking you to stay that way. They would say "oh geez, I didn't know. It's okay for you. Do that mound of cocaine. Have a drink".
Steve Buscemi - Cornell
“Pot and beer. This enhances you. Heightened awareness of your senses, especially touch, a feeling of connection, openness, honesty. It's like being a kid.”
Ari Gold - Cliff
“As I understand from your communication, Mr. Engle, you're on the brink of self-destruction. May I shake your hand? A brilliant idea! I speak as one who has destroyed himself a score of times.”
Thomas Mitchell - Gene Gibbons
“She finds human imperfection unforgiveable. And when I gradually discovered that my relationship to her was supposed to be not that of a loving husband and a good companion, but... but that of a kind of high priest to a virgingoddess, then my drinks grew deeper and more frequent.”
Cary Grant - C. K. Dexter Haven
