“- Fireman: You know, it's against the law to burn anything except trash in your yard.
- Bernadine Harris: [flicks off ashes from her cigarette] It is trash.”
Graham Galloway - Fireman
Bernadine Harris - Bernadine Harris

“Look at that park down there! Just think of how many loves lost and found, how many first kisses kissed, how many Frisbees lost and just remember that is your park my friend and you've got your whole life to walk though it.”

Zak Orth - Monk Jablonski

“- Little Bo Peep: Mistress Mary Quite Contrary, how does your garden grow?
- Mary Quite Contrary: Oh, it's a mess! The silver bells aren't ringing, the cockleshells are being eaten by aphids, and the pretty maids are getting uglier by the minute. Mm! Besides, the rototiller's on the blink and the gophers are the size of buicks.”
Shelley Duvall - Little Bo Peep
Katey Sagal - Mary Quite Contrary

“- Nick Szalinski: We could be anywhere now.
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I think we're still in your yard.
- Nick Szalinski: How do you know?
- Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: In any other yard the grass would be shorter.”
Robert Oliveri - Nick Szalinski
Thomas Wilson Brown - Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr

“Life's a garden, dig it.”
David Spade - Joe Dirt