“- Janet Henry: Hasn't your nurse been treating you well?
- Ed Beaumont: Not as well as I'd like.
- Janet Henry: Poor boy. If I'd known you were being neglected, I would have come sooner.”
Veronica Lake - Janet Henry
Alan Ladd - Ed Beaumont

“If you give them the recognition they are looking for, they win; ignore them, you win.”

“- Policeman: Did you see that? They went right through our roadblock.
- Sheriff Buford T. Justice of Portague County: You sombitches couldn't close an umbrella.”
Jackie Gleason - Sheriff Buford T. Justice of Portague County

“- Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night.
- Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away?
- Roz: Don't let it happen again.
- Mike: Yes, well, I'll try to be more careful next time.
- Roz: I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always.”
Bob Peterson - Roz
Billy Crystal - Mike

“- Lil DeVille: Um, Bobfather, we found this in our crib.
- Angelica: Well that's what you get for wiping your boogers on Cynthia.
- Phil DeVille: So that's where I left them.”

Kath Soucie - Lil DeVille
Cheryl Chase - Angelica
Kath Soucie - Phil DeVille