“- The Bishop: Excellency, fiddlesticks, my name's Fred and I'm a man, same as you.
- Judge Elihu Smails: You're not a man, you're a bishop, for God's sakes.
- The Bishop: There is no God...”
Henry Wilcoxon - The Bishop
Ted Knight - Judge Elihu Smails

“- Alan Dershowitz: Well, a priest is the ideal witness: it's like getting the word of God.
- Claus von Bülow: I checked. God is unavailable.”
Ron Silver - Alan Dershowitz
Jeremy Irons - Claus von Bülow

“- Matt: Isn't part of the priestly thing giving relationship advice?
- John: Relationship advice, yes - sex advice, no. Part of the priestly thing is not to have sex, remember?
- Matt: It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing, at least for some.”
Josh Hartnett - Matt
Adam Trese - John

You think all Buddhist monks are like the Dalai Lama? There are guys in Nepal who are like, "What should I do? Should I carry packs of heavy shit for Westerners up to the top of the base camp on Mt. Everest, or should I stay down here in Katmandu and maybe just chant all day and check out chicks and pretend to be holy?".
Donal Logue - Dex

“- Seth Gecko: What are you, Jacob? A faithless preacher? Or a mean motherfuckin' servant of God?
- Jacob Fuller: I'm a mean, mhm mhm servant of God.”
George Clooney - Seth Gecko
Harvey Keitel - Jacob Fuller