“- Tom: Look, it's all completely chicken soup.
- Nick the Greek: It's what?
- Tom: It's kosher. As Christmas.
- Nick the Greek: The Jews don't celebrate Christmas, Tom.”
Jason Flemyng - Tom
Stephen Marcus - Nick The Greek

“- Deputy Mayor Kevin Calhoun: You keep looking at that thing as if it weren't kosher.
- Abe Goodman: A cut of meat is kosher. A piece of fish, savory foods, and all kinds of dang things are kosher, but a probation report is not kosher. A probation report is merely a probation report.”
John Cusack - Deputy Mayor Kevin Calhoun
David Paymer - Abe Goodman

“- Allison: It's over, it's over. You did great! Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?
- Harry: Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream please.
- Allison: Okay, what flavor?
- Harry: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.”

Julianne Moore - Allison
Orlando Jones - Harry

“He's in the Jewish Mafia. It's probably more like a club than an organization.”
Sam Rockwell - Sam

Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" and the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday". Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" and she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday".
Robin Williams - Jakob