“- Hansel - 6 years old: Jesus says the darndest things.
- Hedwig: Don't you ever mention that name to me again.
- Hansel - 6 years old: But he died for our sins.
- Hedwig: So did Hitler!”
Ben Mayer-Goodman - Hansel - 6 years old
John Cameron Mitchell - Hedwig

“- Gus: What are you doing?
- Charlie: He's crying. Jesus, Gus, he's crying for what we've done, for our sin.”

Simon Pegg - Gus
David Schwimmer - Charlie

“- John Constantine: Jesus didn't die from being nailed to a cross. He was killed by a soldier's spear.
- Angela Dodson: The Spear of Destiny. I'm a Catholic, John. I know the Crucifixion story.”
Keanu Reeves - John Constantine
Rachel Weisz - Angela Dodson

“Jesus was never meant to die. He failed.”
Patrick Brymer - Dr. Dwyer

“Heart attack while he was committing a mortal sin!”

Rose Gregorio - Brenda Samuels