“- Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
- Billy Madison: No, you don't.
- Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee!
- Billy Madison: No, they didn't.”
Chris Farley - Bus Driver
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Lt. Topper Harley: So... I guess you've been with a man before...
- Ramada Thompson: I'm a virgin. I'm just not very good at it.”
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley
Valeria Golino - Ramada Thompson

“I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience”
Max Greenfield - Schmidt

“- Stacy: When you're with a guy, you're not just sleeping with him, you're sleeping with everyone they've had sex with.
- Ilene: And everyone they've had sex with.
- Melissa: Gee, I'm a lot more experienced than I thought I was!”
Lea Thompson - Stacy
Mary Gross - Ilene
Victoria Jackson - Melissa

“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty
experiences go, it's one of the best.”
Woody Allen