“For some reason, the bad guy was always a Colonel who had a beautiful daughter and about a thousand head of cattle which you would hear but never see.”

G.W. Bailey - Peter

“- Mitch Buchannon: How about diamond smugglers who are putting the rocks in surfboards and bringing them ashore?
- Matt Brody: Everything that you guys are talking about sounds like a really, like, entertaining but far-fetched TV show.”
The Rock - Mitch Buchannon
Zac Efron - Matt Brody

“If God was a villain, he'd be me.”
Charles Dance - Benedict

“- Basil of Baker Street: Ratigan's proved he's more clever than I. He never would have walked into such an obvious trap.
- Dr. David Q. Dawson: Pull yourself together. You can stop that villain.”

Barrie Ingham - Basil of Baker Street
Val Bettin - Dr. David Q. Dawson

“Looks like you won't be attending that hat convention in July.”

Bruce Willis - Hudson Hawk