You know that whole deal about "penisenvy"? Not true. No. Half of women don't even like it. You know who has penisenvy? We do. That's why we cheat and we lie, because we're all obsessed with our own equipment!
Mel Gibson - Nick Marshall

“Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who's in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it's universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We... are... men!”
Tom Cruise - Frank T.J. Mackey

“I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal, y'know, sort of like, it's like, like he has a vagina. It's sort of vaginal, y'know, like he has a, he has a penis and a vagina. I mean, it's sort of like... Malkovich's... feminine side. I like that.”
Cameron Diaz - Lotte Schwartz

“- Melissa Morrison: Why do men lie?
- Rick Dunne: Uh, that's a hard one. Give me something frivolous to get into it.
- Melissa Morrison: OK. Why do men touch their dick so much?
- Rick Dunne: Because it's there.”
Saffron Burrows - Melissa Morrison
Aden Young - Rick Dunne

“- Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh: The other day Crash called a woman's pu... pussy... um, well, you know how the hair is kind of in a V-shape?
- Annie Savoy: Yes, I do.
- Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh: Well, he called it the Bermuda Triangle. He said that a man could get lost in there and never be heard from again.”
Tim Robbins - Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh
Susan Sarandon - Annie Savoy