“If you can do what you do best and be happy, you're further along in life than most people.”
Leonardo DiCaprio

“- Vilos Cohaagen: Richter, you know why I'm such a happy person?
- Richter: No, sir.
- Vilos Cohaagen: Because I have one of the greatest jobs in the solar system.”

Ronny Cox - Vilos Cohaagen
Michael Ironside - Richter

“- Shareholder: I wanted to be a magician!
- Longfellow Deeds: What do you do now?
- Shareholder: I operate a pornographic website.
- Longfellow Deeds: I guess that makes people happy too, in a much grosser way.”
Andy Kreiss - Shareholder
Adam Sandler - Longfellow Deeds

“- Maria: How many jobs did you have?
- Larry: I don't know. A lot. I change every two or three years. If it looks like I might be successful. I move on.
- Maria: You don't want to be successful?
- Larry: I want to be happy.”
Isabella Rossellini - Maria
Ted Danson - Larry

“- Wolf W. Wolf: What kind of work are we talking about?
- Nicky Flippers: You'd be under cover, on impossible missions, to far away places. There's a lot of stories out there that need a happy ending. I'm part of a secret organization that makes sure that happens.”
Patrick Warburton - Wolf W. Wolf
David Ogden Stiers - Nicky Flippers