“- Stanley's Neighbor: Hey Stanley, I haven't seen you much this weekend. What have you been doing?
- Stanley Stupid: Oh you know, had breakfast, read the paper, saved the world.”
Robert Wise - Stanley's Neighbor
Tom Arnold - Stanley Stupid

“Great, fine. More for me, i got enough for the whole weekend.”

Hunter Parrish - Stan

“For most people, Friday's just the day before the weekend. But after this Friday, the neighborhood'll never be the same.”
Ice Cube - Craig Jones

“- Snookie: I'm free Saturday night.
- Chenille: Why, is your hand busy?”
Vince Green - Snookie
Kerry Washington - Chenille

“I'll tell you what I'm doing this weekend, I'm getting laid. It's the 1990's and nobody's getting laid. I'm the only man in America who's getting laid this weekend and I haven't been laid that much. Six girls in college, maybe seven.”
Tom Hanks - Sam Baldwin