- Erik: Why can't I go see dad?
- Gail: Well, call him. If he says "yes", I'll put you on the next plane. You know, you and his little friend Cindy could go to the movies and get in for half price.
- Erik: She's 23, mom.
- Gail: Oh, amazing. Old enough to drink.
- Erik: Yeah, but she doesn't.
Brad Renfro - Erik
Diana Scarwid - Gail

“- Ron Burgundy: Hey Garth. How's the divorce?
- Garth Holliday: Oh, not so good... I'll probably never see my kids again.
- Ron Burgundy: [interrupts, not listening] Fantastic!”
Will Ferrell - Ron Burgundy
Chris Parnell - Garth Holliday

“- Fletcher Reede: You brought your kids to your divorce?
- Samantha Cole: Sympathy.
- Fletcher Reede: Well, it's working! I feel sorry for them already!”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Jennifer Tilly - Samantha Cole

“In case of divorce, our school only allows contact with the student after permission from the parent the child lives with. That means I can't help you. How dare you kidnap an 8-year-old? This is pointless. Try legal means instead. You know our view; you're disturbing the peace. Go away!”

Helen van Meurs - Anke Bouma

“Mom, is it possible that you're taking the frustration of your failed marriage out on me?This California trip seems like a great learning opportunity and a chance for me to get to know my father. But if you think it's more important to use me to channel your frustration against the man you no longer love, I'll understand.”
Cameron Bright - Joey Naylor