“- Buddy Evans: What's wrong with my forehead?
- Ms. Werner: Look at those lines.
- Buddy Evans: What lines?
- Ms. Werner: Looks like it's suffering from erosion.
- Buddy Evans: As long as we're talking about looks, your nose isn't exactly classic.
- Ms. Werner: Has anyone ever suggested that you plant corn in your eyebrows?”
Burt Reynolds - Buddy Evans
Carol Locatell - Ms. Werner

“There's a trashy book written on every line of her face.”

Jody Daniels - Finley 'Critter' Jones

“Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.”
Mark Addy - Dave

“- 'Teensy' Melissa Whitman: I can't tell if that's a scar or a wrinkle.
- Caro Eliza Bennett: Yeah, that's a wrinklepal. There's some scars behind your ears though.
- 'Teensy' Melissa Whitman: Shut up.”
Fionnula Flanagan - Teensy' Melissa Whitman
Maggie Smith - Caro Eliza Bennett

“- Psychiatrist: Would you consider yourself subjectively firm or objectively flexible?
- James Clayton: Metaphysically wrinkle-free?”
Oscar Hsu - Psychiatrist
Colin Farrell - James Douglas Clayton