“What's wrong, Jayboy? Don't got no hair on your inch worm yet?”
Victor Rasuk - Tony

“There's things you have to do - which reminds me - you know this hero business? One of the things you learn as you grow older is that life gets very complicated... weird, actually. It's, you know, like people aren't exactly like they seem. Nothin' is. Life gets unbelievable... Uh, it gets normal as you get older.”

Dustin Hoffman - Bernie LaPlante

“- Drum Eatenton: Ouiser you look like hammered shit.
- Ouiser Boudreaux: Don't you talk to me like that!
- Drum Eatenton: Oh, I'm sorry you look like regular shit.”
Tom Skerritt - Drum Eatenton
Shirley MacLaine - Ouiser Boudreaux

“- Murph: Who let the baby into the sixth grade? What's in your bag? Your diapers?
- Junior Healy: No, my lunch, you pin-head.”

Eric Edwards - Murph
Michael Oliver - Junior Healy

“Man, that Kid would forget his dick if it wasn't screwed on tight.”

Christopher Martin - Play