- Keller Coleman: Do you know what people mean when they say "safe sex"?
- Keller's Grandfather: Keller, at my age there ain't no such thing. I could keel over right in the middle of it. At my age you don't worry about catchin' somethin'. You worry about finishing up in one piece.
Breckin Meyer - Keller Coleman
Wayne Tippit - Keller's Grandfather

“After all, without sex, none of us would be born. And we are all born out of a woman's cunt. It is the center of the world. And the more we can do to glorify that holy spot, the more we're doing for mankind.”
Molly Parker - Florence

“- Big Time Willie: Do you know how to spell pussy?
- Coleman 'Booger' Sykes: I know! P-U...
- Big Time Willie: ...H-I-V.”
Roger Guenveur Smith - Big Time Willie
Hill Harper - Coleman 'Booger' Sykes

“- Dallas: You're not one of those Freudian sub-intellectuals who waste all their time fixating on penis envy.
- Dr. Jarvis: Sex is a prime motivator. Indirectly, I believe sex is behind most of our major thought processes.”
Paulina Porizkova - Dallas
Michael Jeter - Dr. Jarvis

“- Dr. Ben Sobel: I have to say, not being able to perform three or four times...
- Paul Vitti: Eight times.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: ...eight times, is not catastrophic.”

Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti