“- Bobbie Markowitz: Add it up. All the women around here are perfect sex-kitten bimbos. All the men are drooling nerds. Doesn't that seem strange?
- Joanna Eberhart: Not to me.
- Bobbie Markowitz: Why not?
- Joanna Eberhart: I work in television.”
Bette Midler - Bobbie Markowitz
Nicole Kidman - Joanna Eberhart

“- Jackie Moon: Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
- Bee Bee Ellis: What the hell is that?
- Jackie Moon: It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
- Monix: Oh yeah... let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.”
Will Ferrell - Jackie Moon
DeRay Davis - Bee Bee Ellis
Woody Harrelson - Monix

“Never trust a man who doesn't have eyes like Sinatra.”
Ione Skye - Frankie

“- King Marchand: I just find it hard to believe that you're a man.
- Victoria Grant: Because you found me attractive as a woman?
- King Marchand: Yes, as a matter of fact.
- Victoria Grant: That happens frequently.”
James Garner - King Marchand
Julie Andrews - Victoria Grant

“Short people are mean. I never met a short man that stays nice all the way through. No sir. Mean little backstabbers, all of 'em. Maybe it's the air down there. Not enough oxygen or somethin'.”
Octavia Spencer - Zelda Fuller