“- Danny Noonan: I planned to go to law school after I graduated, but it looks like my folks won't have enough money to put me through college.
- Judge Elihu Smails: Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.”
Michael O'Keefe - Danny Noonan
Ted Knight - Judge Elihu Smails

“I'll forgive him when I go to college. That's when I'll forgive him. I can't go, can I? Because he took all the money out of my college fund, and bought Mexican black tar with it. And you're asking me to forgive this guy. No way.”

Shia LaBeouf - Kelly Ernswiler

“My old lady couldn't afford to send me to college. So I got a job. I was washing dishes, dumping trash... all that sort of shit.”
Eric Freeman - Ricky Caldwell

- Silas P. Silas: Shit, I'll fucks witcha!
- Jamal King: Shit, I'll fucks witcha, too!
- Philip Huntley: And that's a good thing?
- Jamal King: Yes. That's a "yes"!
- Philip Huntley: Then we'll 'fox' with each other.

Method Man - Silas P. Silas
Redman - Jamal King
Fred Willard - Philip Huntley

“- Silas P. Silas: This class is fucking boring I'm out of here.
- Dean Carl Cain: Uh, excuse me did I hear you say something?
- Silas P. Silas: With all do respect sir, suck my dick.”
Method Man - Silas P. Silas
Obba Babatundé - Dean Carl Cain