“- Jerry Logan: I took some money.
- Chris Altman: A lot of money?
- Jerry Logan: I don't know, is a million a lot?”
Andrew McCarthy - Jerry Logan
Janet Gunn - Chris Altman

“- Miracle Max: It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
- Inigo Montoya: What's that?
- Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.”
Billy Crystal - Miracle Max
Mandy Patinkin - Inigo Montoya

“- Peter: Um, the 7-Eleven, right? You take a penny from the tray.
- Joanna: From the crippled children?
- Peter: No, that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray, the pennies for everybody.”
Ron Livingston - Peter
Jennifer Aniston - Joanna

“- Sister Superior: You stole money because you want to get out of organized crime?
- Brian Hope: Oh, it was stolen already.”
Janet Suzman - Sister Superior
Eric Idle - Brian Hope

“- Brian Hope: It's like Robin Hood, you see? We stole from the rich to give to the poor.
- Sister Superior: Who are you going to give this money to?
- Brian Hope: Us. We're poor.”
Janet Suzman - Brian Hope