“- George: I want the hand of your niece.
- Aunt Agnes: Emily must make her own decision.
- George: So you wouldn't object?
- Aunt Agnes: I don't give a monkey's.”
Sean Pertwee - George
Prunella Scales - Aunt Agnes

“- Margaret Wade: You know why men are so lousy when it comes to taking care of babies?
- Dennis Mitchell: They have better things to do.
- Margaret Wade: Like what? Play golf and drink beer?
- Dennis Mitchell: No, like hunting, having wars, driving cars, shaving, cleaning fish.”
Amy Sakasitz - Margaret Wade
Mason Gamble - Dennis Mitchell

“When you're young, not much matters. When you find something that you care about, than that's all you got.”
Leo Fitzpatrick - Telly

“- Shane Detorre: Don't you ever think about anyone other than yourself?
- Frank Detorre: I think about you all the time.
- Shane Detorre: Were you thinking about me when you packed me a fried Slim Jim sandwich for lunch?
- Frank Detorre: Yeah, it was a turkey Slim Jim!”
Elena Franklin - Shane Detorre
Bill Murray - Frank Detorre

“Say the point of sex isn't recreation or procreation or any of that stuff. Say it's concentration. Say it's supposed to focus your attention on the person you're sleeping with, like biological highlighter. Otherwise, there's just too many people in the world.”

Lyle Pearce Lovett - Sheriff Carl Tippett