“- Ben Sobel: We don't think it's necessary to wake the neighbors every time we have sex.
- Paul Vitti: If you're quiet, you could do it without even waking your wife.”
Billy Crystal - Ben Sobel
Robert De Niro - Paul Vitti

“- Miranda: Ummm that was incredible. Was it good for you?
- Fletcher Reede: I've had better.”

Amanda Donohoe - Miranda
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede

“- Lucille: Alky can't make a fool of me. I want to go places. I want to do things. I want freedom, I want liberty, I want justice...
- Groucho: Madam, you're making history. In fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.”
Thelma Todd - Lucille
Groucho Marx - Groucho

“My life sucks. Now, come on give her the Waikikiki sneaky behind the cheeky.”
Rob Schneider - Ula

“You're always complaining, except when we make love. Then you say nothing.”
Qi Shu - Lai