“- Ron: I'm sure you're a very good actress. It's just that you're not threatening enough.
- Dorothy Michaels: Not threatening enough? Listen, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?
- Ron: It's a start.”
Dabney Coleman - Ron
Dustin Hoffman - Dorothy Michaels

“I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.”
Leslie William Nielsen

“I'm making this out for one thousand dollars. All you have to do is give me 300 dollars in cash and keep 700 dollars, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

There's no excuses, Paul. No one has ever, ever paid admission to see an excuse. No one has ever faced a black screen that says: "Well, if we had these set of circumstances, we would've shot this scene... so please forgive us and use your imagination." I've been to the movies hundreds of times. That's never occurred.
Mark Borchardt - Filmmaker

“- Alexander Dane: I played Richard III.
- Fred Kwan: Five curtain calls...
- Alexander Dane: There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it. Now look at me. Look at me! I won't go out there and say that stupid line one more time.”
Alan Rickman - Alexander Dane
Tony Shalhoub - Fred Kwan