“- Andrew Largeman: I just feel like I've been going to too many of these lately.
- Sam: What? Dates?
- Andrew Largeman: You call this a date? This isn't a date. No, funerals.”
Zach Braff - Andrew Largeman
Natalie Portman - Sam

“- Ellen Griswold: We can't leave her on the patio!
- Clark Griswold: Would you rather I slipped her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?”

Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Ellen Griswold: Lord, we loved this woman with all our heart.
- Audrey Griswold: Let's not overdo it, mom.
- Ellen Griswold: Shut up.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold

“- Sherlock Holmes: The young lady is taking her mother to Scotland for burial.
- Inspector Lestrade: In a coffin?
- Sherlock Holmes: That is the customary method, I believe.”
Basil Rathbone - Sherlock Holmes
Dennis Hoey - Inspector Lestrade

“Now when you go in the grave, and you're just laying there in the casket - the last hurrah, the final goodbye - what are you gonna think about, Bill?”
Mark Borchardt - Filmmaker