“As long as I got someone to clean my house and some action on a regular basis, I don’t need a wife.”
Angus T. Jones - Jake Harper

“- Veronica: That knife is filthy.
- J.D.: What do you think I'm going to do with it, take out her tonsils?
- Veronica: Excuse me, I think I know Heather a little bit better than you do. If she were going to slit her wrists, the knife would be spotless.”
Winona Ryder - Veronica
Christian Slater - J.D.

“Oh, yuck! There's still someone's hair and blood all over this. Guys, can you clean up the weapons once you finish your fight? Disgusting slobs.”
Taika Waititi - Korg

“- Danforth Keeton III: I just killed my wife. Is that bad?
- Leland Gaunt: Hey, these things happen.”
J. T. Walsh - Danforth Keeton III
Max von Sydow - Leland Gaunt

“- Rita's Father: If she was a wife of mine I'd drown her.
- Rita: If I was a wife of yours I'd drown myself.”
Godfrey Quigley - Rita's Father
Julie Walters - Rita