“Hey guys, welcome to the party. If you're gonna have sex, please... do it in my parents' bedroom.”
Rob Benedict - Preston Wasserstein

“- Debbie Thompson: Are there gonna be girls at the party?
- Rick Gassko: No... it's a 'stag' party, and that means that the 'does' stay home!
- Debbie Thompson: I'm not talking about the 'does'. I'm talking about hookers.”
Tawny Kitaen - Debbie Thompson
Tom Hanks - Rick Gassko

- Katy: Hey, Droz, how 'bout this: tonight, at the Pit, "everyone gets laid".
- James 'Droz' Andrews: It's tasteless, disgusting, and offensive. I love it.

Megan Ward - Katy
Jeremy Piven - James 'Droz' Andrews

“- Rose: I'm gonna take you to a club, you're gonna meet some young stupid hot guy, and you're gonna take all your anger and aggression out on his penis.
- Meghan: I don't know, I don't do that with penises.”
Gillian Jacobs - Rose
Jan Struther - Meghan

“The Russian only cares he has a bottle of vodka to suck and some form of domestic animal life to fuck. Then he will happily sit in shit his whole life.”
Owen Teale - Dr. Roland Freisler