“- Daniel Miller: What is this?
- Julia: It's my hotel.
- Daniel Miller: This is your hotel?
- Julia: Where are you staying?
- Daniel Miller: Obviously at the place for people that weren't very generous and didn't adopt anybody. I'm at the Continental. Come over one day; we'll paint it.”
Albert Brooks - Daniel Miller
Meryl Streep - Julia

“Don't let people lie to you: hostels are for the ugly.”

Kip Pardue - Victor

“- Richard Gecko: Well what do they got?
- Seth Gecko: They have four walls and a bed and that's all we need.”

Quentin Tarantino - Richard Gecko
George Clooney - Seth Gecko

“I dream of being in a Las Vegas hotel where all of the towels smell like Downy Fabric Softener.”
Cameron Diaz - Freddie Clayton

“If there's no room at the Hotel Genius, I'll take a room at the Hotel Imbecile.”
Roberto Benigni - Driver - Rome