“My love, tonight we will celebrate this ecstatic joining of our spirits with the union of our aching bodies.”

Gene Hackman - William B. Tensy

“- Beavis: It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times!
- Old Guy: Oh, yeah.
- Beavis: But not us. We're never gonna score!”
Mike Judge - Beavis
Kristofor Brown - Old Guy

“- Eddie Sparks: Look at this. I'm 91-years-old. 50 years I've been waiting for this chance. Dixie, please let's go upstairs.
- Dixie Leonard: What, to your room?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then we get undressed?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then we get into bed?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then what?”
James Caan - Eddie Sparks
Bette Midler - Dixie Leonard

“Now you're talking my language. Old enough to know how it's done and young enough to still want to do it.”

Bill Macy - Doo-Dah

- Brodie: My Grandmother always used to say "why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free?".
- TS Quint: She didn't!
- Brodie: All the time, before she became a lesbian on her 60th Birthday, but that's besides the point.
Jason Lee - Brodie
Jeremy London - TS Quint