“- Heck: It's porn, right? It's degrading. It's offensive.
- Rachel: God yes.
- Heck: Yeah. Let's watch it anyway.”
Matthew Goode - Heck
Piper Perabo - Rachel

“- Carter: We need to get her to relax.
- Lee: Maybe we should put on a dirty movie. Only $9.95.”

Chris Tucker - Carter
Jackie Chan - Lee

Do you know how many hours I spent looking for my "Temple of Poon" tape. One. That is a long time to be looking for porn.

Paulo Costanzo - Ryan

“Bring me my stunt cock.”
Michael Dean Jacobs - Maxxx Orbison

“- Older Porn Actress: They should've done DVDA.
- Joe Young: DVDA?
- Older Porn Actress: Double-vaginal double-anal. It's the only way a woman of my age will get work in this industry. If you don't think that splits me open like a turkey on Thanksgiving...”
Cathy Fitzpatrick - Older Porn Actress
Trey Parker - Joe Young