“Look, you've got to treat this like any other police situation. You walk into it showing fear, you're dead. And those kids know you're scared.”

Pamela Reed - Phoebe

“- Bernie Focker: You kids wanna pick your nose and flick your boogers? Do it!
- Pam Focker: Hey, Bernie!
- Bernie Focker: But do it only when it's dry. Don't do a wet one.”
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker
Teri Polo - Pam Focker

“- The Dag: [to her belly] Stay right where you are, little Joe. Kind of lost his novelty out here.
- Keeper of the Seeds: You're having a baby?
- The Dag: Warlord, Jr... It's gonna be so ugly.
- Keeper of the Seeds: It could be a girl!”
Abbey Lee - The Dag
Melissa Jaffer - Keeper of the Seeds

“Backyard nudity is hypocritical. It's insincere. People should do and say exactly what they feel and think and not try to hide things.”
Joaquin Phoenix - Doug Holt

- Doug Masters: Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?
- Col. Charles "Chappy" Sinclair: Yeah, my ex-wife.
Jason Gedrick - Doug Masters
Louis Gossett Jr. - Charles "Chappy" Sinclair