“Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls.”
Tom Greening - Gord Brody

“There's a lot of resentment in this country toward the Middle East and there's a lot of stereotypes floating around which I don't think are true because in the short amount of time I've known you, you haven't tried to bomb anybody and you currently smell okay to me.”

Evan Rachel Wood - Kimberly Joyce

“It behooves both the Jews and the Arabs to settle their differences in a Christian manner!”

Charles Durning - Governor

“- Pam: Sex with you is really a Kafkaesque experience.
- Alvy Singer: Thank you.
- Pam: It's a compliment.”
Shelley Duvall - Pam
Woody Allen - Alwy Singer

“- Elvin Clyde: Who did you go as?
- Peter Appleton: A horny young man.”
Bob Balaban - Elvin Clyde
Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton