“- Uncle Red: Where's your Mom?
- Marty Coslaw: She and Dad are out back lighting the barbeque, yeah, and Jane's walking around in all these new clothes showing off her tits, acting like no one ever had tits before her.”
Gary Busey - Uncle Red
Corey Haim - Marty Coslaw

“- Streak: You got any naked pictures of your sister?
- Gilbert Noble: Of course not.
- Streak: Wanna buy some?”
Brent Hinkley - Streak
Chris Klein - Gilbert Noble

“- Benny 'Uncle Benny' Chan: I'm sleeping with my wife's two sisters.
- Roger Murtaugh: You lucky sonofabitch.
- Martin Riggs: Good for you, Uncle Benny.
- Benny 'Uncle Benny' Chan: Not so good when my wife finds out.”

Kim Chan - Benny 'Uncle Benny' Chan
Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs

“- Cass Lake: You see, I think she's my sister.
- Ryan Harrison: Sister?
- Cass Lake: It's like a brother, only you do each other's hair.”
Melinda McGraw - Cass Lake
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison

“Is it not a brother's job to find fault with his sister?”
Jeremy Northam - Mr Knightley