“- Cop: Hey Graham, you want some sushi?
- Tom Graham: No thanks. If I get a craving for mercury, I'll eat a thermometer.”
Michael Leopard - Cop
Harvey Keitel - Lt. Tom Graham

“- Dr. Margaret Snow Coopersmith: He has a system for eating pancakes.
- Barney Coopersmith: So the bottom pancake gets the same amount of syrup as the first.
- Dr. Margaret Snow Coopersmith: He has a system for everything!”
Colleen Camp - Dr. Margaret Snow Coopersmith
Rick Moranis - Barney Coopersmith

“- Tigress: I hope this turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating it raw and then drinking boiling water.
- Po: This is nothing like that plan.
- Tigress: How?
- Po: Because this one is gonna work.”
Angelina Jolie - Tigress
Jack Black - Po

“We've just discovered the most wonderful, the most marvelous poisinous gas. It will kill everybody.”
Billy Gilbert - Herring

“Poison is a woman's weapon.”
Steven Geray - Dr. Retling