“You don't tell me what to do, okay? Don't tell me what we might do, don't tell me what we're supposed to do, don't tell me what we maybe should do, don't ever tell me nothing!”

Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli

“- Jay: Am I supposed to take advice on love from a dude that chases his own ass?
- Frank the Pug: Easy, pal. That's canine profiling, and I resent it.”
Will Smith - Jay
Tim Blaney - Frank the Pug

“- Elizabeth Tyson: Go, Linus! Don't think!
- Linus Larrabee: [hesitantly] She... she must absolutely hate me!
- Maude Larrabee: She'll get over it. We all do... Linus, you know I love you. No mother could be prouder. But I think it's time that you ran away from home.”

Lauren Holly - Elizabeth Tyson
Harrison Ford - Linus Larrabee
Nancy Marchand - Maude Larrabee

You know that Julie chick? Loves you. You want her? Gotta play it cool, you know. You can't let her know how much you like her cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me. Like, if she asks you if you want a ride, you say, "No, I've got my own ride, but maybe I'll see you later". Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.
Sasha Jenson - Don Dawson

“- A.J.: Joe, I need to ask your advice. Now, I know you know a lot about love and women and all that sort of thing.
- Joe Reaves: Oh yeah, my wife left me for another woman and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint. Does this qualify me?”
Johnny Whitworth - A.J.
Anthony LaPaglia - Joe Reaves