“Do you know, Bernadette, if you and the other so-called members of the top 10 would spend half the time on your books that you do down at that inn, you could all be in Harvard tomorrow?”
Frances Hyland - Mrs. Patterson

“I figure if I study high, take the test high, get high scores! Right?”
Redman - Jamal King

“- Darnell Lewis: When you was at Harvard, did you ever get raped for failing a test?
- James King: I think that's more of a Yale thing.”
Kevin Hart - Darnell
Will Ferrell - James

“Why do I want to attend Harvard? If I was white, would you even have to ask me that question?”
Shameik Moore - Malcolm

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener