“You Russians think of yourselves as poets, but perhaps you're just touchy.”

Chris Pine - Jack Ryan

“- Goldar: We got them now, boss.
- Ivan Ooze: Touch me again, you'll be chicken wings in the morning.”

Kerry Casey - Goldar
Paul Freeman - Ivan Ooze

“- Jeff Blue: You know that looks really great on TV, but in real life you get better results if you just kind of hold it like this and...
- Muerte: Shut up! Shut up!!
- Jeff Blue: Do you always have this much problem with a little constructive criticism?”

Dennis Quaid - Jeff Blue
Stanley Tucci - Muerte

“- Flan Kittredge: Having a rich friend is like drowning and your friend makes lifeboats.
- Ouisa Kittredge: Only your friend gets very touchy if you say one word: lifeboat.”
Donald Sutherland - Flan
Stockard Channing - Ouisa

- Henry "Hank" Giles, III: What's the deal, Billy? Are you trying to tell me my breath stinks?
- William "Billy" Tepper: I wasn't saying your breath stinks. Why do you take everything so personally? Damn, Hank.
T.E. Russell - Hank Giles
Sean Astin - Billy Tepper