“- Lucy Whitmore: What are you doing?
- Henry Roth: Nothing, I was just getting some lint off for you...
- Lucy Whitmore: You were going for a feelski!
- Henry Roth: Alright, I'm sorry... But this is like the 23rd time we've made out already and... they're getting blue!”
Henry Roth - Lucy Whitmore
Adam Sandler - Henry Roth

“Darling, why spend anymore time on that horse's ass when Mr. Tie-Me-Up-Tie-Me-Down is standing right over there?”
Sarah Parish - TJ

“- Lucy Kolinski: You try and keep it down up here, okay, my room is right underneath.
- John Smith: I'll try not to make too much noise when I'm jumpin' up and down on the bed.”
Alexandra Powers - Lucy Kolinski
Bruce Willis - John Smith

“- Gail Hartman: Are you makin' a pass at me?
- Tom Hartman: I don't know, is that what it's called this far outside of Boston?
- Gail Hartman: This far inside of marriage, you mean.
- Tom Hartman: I think we're sufficiently alienated for this to qualify as a pass.”
Meryl Streep - Gail Hartman
David Strathairn - Tom Hartman

“My hobbies include coin collecting and dry-humping cheerleaders.”
Stephen Dorff - Cliff Spab