“- James: Look, you gotta use Lamaze. It works. My sister-in-law used it. You don't use drugs, and it's better for the kid.
- Mollie: You know, the only people who say stupid things like that are men, because they're idiots!”
John Travolta - James
Kirstie Alley - Mollie

“Medical books aren't written about losers!”
Laurence Fishburne - Thrax

Good evening, citizens of Frank. In the past few weeks of the campaign, my opponent has thrown around a lot of fancy words to try to confuse the issues. Words like "exercise", "low-fat", and "diet" - words designed to scare us into changing what has worked for so many years. Well, I say let's stay the course. Remember, a fat Frank is a happy Frank.
William Shatner - Mayor Phlegmming

“- Mayor Phlegming: Son, do me a favor and read what it says on your arm.
- Drix: 'For the temporary relief of symptoms associated with... '
- Mayor Phlegming: Exactly! Temporary. You're nothing but a wannabe, a placebo, a generic brand. Marked-down, over-the-counter, useless Tic-Tac!”
William Shatner - Mayor Phlegmming
David Hyde Pierce - Drix

“I always had a feeling that healing-any-injury thing was bullshit.”
Garry Shandling - Harold Anderson