“- James 'Droz' Andrews: Are we having a party tonight or what?
- Cecilia: Well, there's no publicity, so there's no people; Gutter never showed up, so there's no beer; instruments just blew out, so there's no band; and I think Raji and Deege may be dead.
- James 'Droz' Andrews: Wait a minute... no beer?”
Jeremy Piven - James 'Droz' Andrews
Gale Mayron - Cecilia

“- Rudy: Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!
- Gary: Yeah! Yeah! All the things that make life worth living for!”
Barry Diamond - Rudy
Gary Grossman - Gary

“Congratulations. On a scale of one to ten on the perversity meter, you just hit a seventy-three.”

Geoffrey Rush - Stephen Price

“- Peaches: I'm having a dinner party Friday night, we're short one man.
- Oscar Madison: How about Abe here, he's a short man.
- Peaches: You can run Oscar, but you can't hide! See ya.
- Oscar Madison: Oh, that's such an original expression. I hate a woman who talks like Muhammed Ali.”
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“- Alice: We don't even have an apartment. How can we have a dinner party?
- Charlotte: Well, its another incentive to get one.”
Chloë Sevigny - Alice
Kate Beckinsale - Charlotte