“- Bullet-Tooth Tony: Do you want to shoot him?
- Cousin Avi: That's a little noisy, isn't it?
- Bullet-Tooth Tony: Well, do you want to stab him?
- Cousin Avi: Well, that's a little cold-blooded, isn't it?
- Bullet-Tooth Tony: Do you want to kill him, or not?”
Vinnie Jones - Bullet-Tooth Tony
Dennis Farina - Cousin Avi

“- Rupert of Hentzau: Why don't you let me kill you quietly?
- Major Rudolph Rassendyll: Oh, a little noise adds a touch of cheer.”
Douglas Fairbanks Jr. - Rupert of Hentzau
Ronald Colman - Major Rudolf Rassendyll

“- Policeman with dog: You people are ought to stay back! Killer here loves to bite!
- Maximillian: So do I!”

Eddie Murphy - Maximillian

“- Vincent Smith: We had this old dog, you see, and it used to bother granny barking through her naps and all that so one day she asked me to shush it for her. Ha! I shushed it all right.
- Ida Smith: Yeah, he sure did. He smoked that old dog just like a hog.”
Rory Calhoun - Vincent Smith
Nancy Parsons - Ida Smith

“- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Has your father ever killed anyone?
- Rusty Griswold: Just a dog. Oh and my Aunt Edna.”
John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold