“- Tinka Parker: Look, Von Stefan. I know you like this place the way it is, but wake up. It's not real life. Real life is boy, girl, boy, girl.
- Verena Von Stefan: No, real life is boy on top of girl.”
Monica Keena - Tinka Parker
Kirsten Dunst - Verena von Stefan

“- Nicky: I like sleeping with you.
- Gloria: You're not the first guy to tell me that.”
Jean-Luke Figueroa - Nicky
Sharon Stone - Gloria

“They's no torture on earth to equal the torture which a cold woman inflicts on a man. They's no torture to compare with it!”
Karl Malden - Archie Lee Meighan

“Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place.”
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins

“Uggamus iggamas, man is polygamist. Uggamus oggamas, woman monogamist.”
Sir Michael Caine - Max Gale