“- Ernie Souchak: Why ornithology?
- Nell Porter: I like the uniform.”
John Belushi - Ernie Souchak
Blair Brown - Nell Porter

“- Kitty Kiernan: Is it true, Mick, that all of the women in America wear trousers?
- Michael Collins: Absolutely! Shameless hussies, the lot o' them.”
Julia Roberts - Kitty Kiernan
Liam Neeson - Michael Collins

“- Athena: I'm going to the Jewel. Listen, I'll get you some pantyhose.
- Maria Portokalos: No queen size. They make me look fat.”
Stavroula Logothettis - Athena
Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos

“- Doug Remer: We win, and they get the chicks. That sucks, dude.
- Joe Cooper: I'm telling you, it's jobs. We gotta get jobs. Then we get the khakis. Then we get the chicks.”
Matt Stone - Doug Remer
Trey Parker - Joe Cooper

“I know women who crawl through shit for a fur coat.”
Barbra Streisand - Claudia Draper