“- Matthew the Waiter: Okay, so just one. Here's your wine list, your menu, come on. You want, like, a magazine or something? It's gonna be boring if you're just sitting by yourself.
- Peter Bretter: No, I'll be alright. Thank you.
- Matthew the Waiter: I would just be so depressed.”

Jonah Hill - Matthew the Waiter
Jason Segel - Peter Bretter

“- Rosencrantz: Did you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it?
- Guildenstern: No.
- Rosencrantz: Nor do I, really. It's silly to be depressed by it.”
Gary Leonard Oldman - Rosencrantz
Tim Roth - Guildenstern

“- Sgt. Al Powell: What about the body that fell out the window?
- Deputy Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson: Well, who knows? Probably some stockbroker, got depressed.”
Reginald VelJohnson - Sgt. Al Powell
Paul Gleason - Deputy Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson

“Being young is sometimes less fun than being dead.”
Christian Slater - Mark Hunter

“We should talk about a civil case, Martha. We got to finish this. You know, I’ve come back from death before. You know, dark, cold. Really dark, really cold. And now she’s in the dark and the cold, and I can’t do anything about it, you know. My hands are sort of tied here.”
Shia LaBeouf - Sean