“- May Daly: I see you want to buy me.
- Louis Blore: Gosh no, Miss Daly, I want to marry you!”
Lucille Desiree Ball - May Daly
Red Skelton - Louis Blore

“- Drake Goodman: You have to remember this is an investment, Patty. You can't afford to do everything at once.
- Patty Palmer: It's not just an investment - it's our home.”
Matthew Modine - Drake Goodman
Melanie Griffith - Patty Palmer

“- Amy: Do you mind if I ask you why you're selling? I mean, you've done so much to this place. You've obviously put your heart in it.
- Patty Palmer: No, not really. It was just an investment.”
Barbara Tyson - Amy
Melanie Griffith - Patty Palmer

“- Tony Hawes: What are you going to do with all that money?
- Nick Leeson: I'm not going to spend it on futures and options.”
Tim McInnerny - Tony Hawes
Ewan Gordon McGregor - Nick Leeson

“- T.J. Hicks: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
- Deuce Bigalow: Where?
- T.J. Hicks: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
- Deuce Bigalow: Man-whoring?
- T.J. Hicks: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.”
Eddie Griffin - T.J. Hicks
Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow