“Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!”
George Wyner - Colonel Sandurz

“- Liam O'Leary: You should get a dog. Or a parrot, maybe. Something to raise the alarm, you know. Ned Kelly had a peacock.
- Gerry Boyle: I've always wanted a giraffe.”
David Wilmot - Liam O'Leary
Brendan Gleeson - Gerry Boyle

“It looks safe. Come on. Come on! It's empty! Nothin' in here but a pig, and he sure don't care.”

John Cusack - Harry

“You have a divine animal right to protect your own life and the life of your offspring.”
Juliette Lewis - Ginny

“- George Banks: Drive carefully. And don't forget to fasten your condom.
- Annie Banks: Dad!
- George: Seat belt! I meant, I meant seat belt.”
Steve Martin - George Banks
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks