“- Wilma Northrup: I told you half an hourago to get one of those kids in the monkey suits to bring the car around!
- Henry Northrup: Oh, I'm sorry...
- Wilma Northrup: Oh, Henry, you are such a little kid! I swear to God you are! I mean were would you be without me to take care of you?”

Adrienne Barbeau - Wilma Northrup
Hal Holbrook - Henry Northrup

“- Cassidy: But you can't go around having fun all the time. You have to be serious.
- Sutter: I am serious. I'm one hundred percent serious!
- Cassidy: About what?
- Sutter: About... not being serious!”
Brie Larson - Cassidy
Miles Teller - Sutter

“You shouldn't be wearing a dress; you should be wearing a diaper.”

Jeff Bridges - Jack Baker

“A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. That's what I know.”
Cameron Diaz - Elizabeth Halsey

“- Tibby: How old are you, anyway? 10?
- Bailey: I'm 12!
- Tibby: Same difference. - Bailey: No, when I was 10, I didn't have an iPod.
- Tibby: You're so cool. And what do you listen to on there, teletubbies hit parade?”
Amber Tamblyn - Tibby
Jenna Boyd - Bailey